How to Learn in Hard Moments (Without Spiralling)

Squiggly Careers
564 views • January 21, 2026

This is Day 3 of the Learn Like a Lobster skill sprint, and today Helen and Sarah share a simple way of reflecting on hard moments at work so you can learn faster, avoid recency bias, and take control in tough situations. Because when work feels messy, reflection is often the first thing we skip - or overdo. In this episode, you’ll learn practical tools, including the 5:1 formula and the WWW/EBI framework, to help you regain perspective, stay in control, and turn difficult moments into learning.

🦞 Pre-order Learn Like A Lobster:
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⏱️ Timestamps

00:00 Lobsters grow in hard moments
00:35 The lobster profile
00:58 Why reflecting in hard moments needs more focus
02:33 Thinkers vs doers: how we avoid learning
03:45 WWW/EBI
04:31 The 5:1 formula explained
06:36 Fixing problems in teams
07:39 Taking control in long haul hard moments
09:35 Inspiration & 24hr action

🎯 What You’ll Learn

- Why reflecting during hard moments leads to better learning
- How to avoid overthinking or rushing past difficult experiences
- A simple 5:1 approach to constructive reflection and how to use WWW / EBI individually or in teams

Learn Like a Lobster Profiler – https://www.learnlikealobsterprofiler.com/
Download our template for 5:1 reflection: https://bit.ly/llal_5to1_reflectiontemplate

🔔S𝐮𝐛𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬:https://www.youtube.com/@SquigglyCareers?sub_confirmation=1

If you enjoyed this episode, you may also like:
▶️ https://youtu.be/NwgbPJ-pvao
▶️ https://youtu.be/c4Bm6IDGOKM
▶️ https://youtu.be/jdhXZrrc6nY

For questions about Squiggly Careers or to share feedback, please email helenandsarah@squigglycareers.com

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0:00 Hi, I'm Helen. And I'm Sarah. And this
0:02 is day three of the Squiggly Skills
0:04 Sprint. We are continuing with the theme
0:06 of learning in hard moments. And so
0:09 we're going to dive into some new ideas
0:11 to help you learn more at work. So, as a
0:14 quick reminder, the fascinating feature
0:16 that we're focused on here is lobsters
0:18 grow the most by shedding their shells.
0:20 It's energy zapping. I mean, it looks
0:23 really hard when you watch the videos of
0:24 lobsters shedding their
0:25 >> empathy for lobsters when you see this.
0:27 They look jelly like and it looks very
0:29 tough, but they grow back these new
0:31 shells. They're bigger, they're better,
0:33 they're stronger. And what has really
0:35 stood out from everybody who's done the
0:37 profile so far, we've had thousands of
0:39 people now who've completed their
0:40 lobster profile, is that learning in
0:43 hard moments is definitely the area that
0:45 people need the most help with. People
0:46 are pretty good at leading their own
0:48 learning, but definitely want some extra
0:50 ideas and inspiration. Getting better at
0:52 learning as you go, but like this is the
0:54 one where we're like, we need to keep
0:55 focusing on that. So that's why we've
0:57 done two days on this. So when we're in
0:59 a hard moment, we want to think about
1:01 how can we reflect as we go because if
1:04 we reflect as we go, we learn so much
1:06 more. If you reflect after a hard
1:09 moment, what tends to happen is
1:12 >> you forget a lot.
1:13 >> You lose the learning, don't you?
1:14 >> And you lose lots of the learning.
1:15 recency bias. You tend to actually be
1:17 reflecting on the last week
1:20 >> or you're probably reflecting on those
1:22 really big things that might have
1:23 happened that you can still remember,
1:25 but there's probably lots of smaller
1:27 things that you lose along the way. It's
1:29 why things like I'm sure lots of people
1:31 who are listening will have done these
1:32 you know the big project post
1:34 implementation reviews and those things
1:36 actually aren't that effective unless
1:38 you have captured learning throughout
1:40 the process or when something's gone
1:43 wrong and then you're trying to like
1:44 diagnose like what was it and like what
1:46 do we want to do differently if you've
1:48 not learned as you go with like in
1:50 through these kind of hard moments it
1:52 just feels really hard
1:53 >> I also think it's a way that you can
1:54 take control so in a hard moment you
1:57 might feel like something is happening
1:59 ing to you that it is out of your
2:00 control a a difficult conversation
2:02 feedback that you weren't expecting a
2:04 restructure or a change and that can
2:06 feel that can just feel very hard
2:08 whereas I think if you can start
2:10 reflecting in the moment it it is not
2:12 only a way that you learn more but I
2:15 feel like it is something that you've
2:16 got more control over which is a bit
2:18 more of a positive experience
2:20 >> and so we need a way of doing this which
2:22 feels fast realistic because there is a
2:25 lot going on you know something hard is
2:27 happening and also one that works
2:30 whether you are more of a thinker or a
2:32 doer. So I'm a thinker. So when things
2:35 are hard, I actually go into reflection
2:38 overdrive.
2:39 >> And so what that does is it slows me
2:42 down.
2:42 >> It means that I overanalyze. I really
2:46 want to understand, you know, like I
2:47 really try and get to like root causes.
2:49 Um, but that can mean you end up going
2:52 around in circles and you keep sort of
2:54 questioning and you know like you're
2:55 looping and your brain is is looping and
2:57 probably spiraling and you're looking in
2:59 lots of different directions. That's
3:01 what would happen to me in a hard
3:02 moment. How about you as a doer?
3:03 >> Well, I just don't do it, do I?
3:05 [laughter]
3:05 >> She's like, there's no reflection.
3:07 >> There is no reflection.
3:08 >> I'm reflecting so much and you're like
3:09 there's zero reflection. I've got I've
3:11 got a lot of other things to do and I
3:13 sort of in my mind I'm like well I don't
3:14 want to be distracted by reflection and
3:16 I sometimes find it hard but we'll
3:17 sometimes be in the same hard moment
3:19 because we're in a business together so
3:20 we're often experiencing hard things at
3:21 the same time and you'll want to reflect
3:23 and I'll just want to
3:25 >> distract myself and that's probably what
3:26 I do. I I use doing as a distraction
3:29 rather than reflecting to get the
3:31 learning. So we we kind of want to be in
3:32 the middle here. We need an action that
3:34 means you stop over reflecting and I
3:38 have a quick way that I can learn in a
3:41 hard moment without feeling like it is
3:42 distracting me from the action that I
3:44 want to move on to. And so longtime
3:46 listeners will be familiar with our www.
3:49 EBI sort of tool if you want to describe
3:52 it in that way which is what worked well
3:55 even better if and we think this is
3:57 really useful in hard moments because it
3:59 is easy to remember it's easy to have a
4:02 go at it's hard to get wrong which is
4:04 like which is which is good news and I
4:06 think it's also something that is very
4:08 flexible there's lots of different ways
4:09 that you can use www ebi whether you're
4:13 a remote team whether you're doing this
4:15 for yourself whether you're doing it
4:17 every day whether you're doing it once a
4:19 So, we thought we would bring to life
4:20 some just ways that whatever your hard
4:23 moment might be right now, whether it's
4:25 just a hard week or you're in something
4:27 very difficult, like what this would
4:29 look like if you were going to start
4:30 using this. So, the first way we're
4:32 going to talk about is the 5 to one
4:34 formula. And we thought we would bring
4:35 it to life with a real example as always
4:38 >> of a hard moment that Helen was in. Um,
4:40 so the hard moment was I was presenting
4:43 to a company which is kind of part of
4:45 the job that we do. It was a really
4:47 important moment and unfortunately
4:48 traffic had meant that I didn't get
4:50 there at the time that I wanted to and
4:53 so that I arrived a bit stressed. I felt
4:55 like I was letting people down. And it
4:57 was a really hard moment for me to be
5:00 in. And then as a result of that
5:03 afterwards, it was difficult to look for
5:04 any learning. Like I just thought, oh
5:06 that was a disaster. I didn't
5:07 >> How did some of your tech go wrong as
5:08 well?
5:08 >> Tech went wrong. And I there was just a
5:10 lot. And I was disappointed. And like my
5:13 immediate thought was not what can I
5:15 learn from this hard moment.
5:16 >> It was that's a disaster.
5:17 >> That was a disaster. I've just got to
5:19 forget about it and move on. Like
5:20 because the rest of my day that's the
5:22 doer. That's the doer in me. But what
5:24 happened was I messaged Sarah which is
5:26 tends to be what I do when I've had a
5:28 disaster or something goes wrong like oh
5:30 this is such a disaster and we quickly
5:32 went to the 5:1 formula and the 5 to1
5:35 formula is you you reflect on five
5:37 things that went well. So what went well
5:39 that day was I actually delivered a good
5:41 presentation like the actual learning
5:42 experience was really good. Um there
5:44 were lots of people that messaged me
5:46 afterwards. I did some fast fixes so
5:49 that people knew that I cared about the
5:52 fact that I'd arrived late. There were
5:53 lots of things that went well and it the
5:55 5 to1 formula is a forcing function for
5:57 you to to look for what went well first
5:59 and then you can still do an even better
6:01 if but I think when you're just doing
6:03 one you it it's not that the inner
6:06 critic is not in control I think you
6:07 become much more constructive so okay if
6:10 you are late because of traffic again in
6:12 the future which is probably going to
6:13 happen what would make that situation
6:16 even better if and there were loads of
6:18 ideas that kind of we kind of talked
6:20 about there but it felt more
6:21 constructive and I was able then to move
6:24 on with my day having learned from the
6:26 situation that I had been in as a result
6:28 of that whereas without it I think I
6:30 probably would have felt worse for
6:31 longer
6:32 >> and I definitely wouldn't have learned
6:34 what to do differently in the future.
6:35 Another way of using what work well even
6:37 better if that we actually do as our
6:39 team that's really helpful and means
6:41 that you definitely do the learning in
6:43 the kind of hard moments is if you've
6:45 got a project or a process that isn't
6:48 working you create a we do team so a
6:51 team's channel but it can be Slack or
6:53 whatever but it's something remote like
6:55 you're not having a conversation you're
6:56 actually doing it by writing stuff and
6:58 everybody just puts in their what's
7:00 working well their even better ifs along
7:02 the way and I think what's nice about
7:05 that is it's good to sometimes not put
7:07 people on the spot.
7:08 >> It's sometimes good for more senior
7:10 people to not go first. So there's some
7:12 really good evidence around things like
7:14 brainw writing like giving people space
7:16 to like write things down first and then
7:18 share. It's more inclusive. You don't
7:20 just feel like you've got to follow
7:21 what's gone before. Somehow disagreeing
7:24 in a conversation is actually sometimes
7:26 harder, I think, than maybe disagreeing
7:27 if you're just going, "Oh, I didn't
7:29 spot. I'm not sure I agree with that
7:30 even better if I think I would have a
7:32 have a different one." Um, and I also
7:34 think it it means people can do it
7:36 really quickly. It feels quite informal.
7:38 >> The last idea for what worked well even
7:40 better if and how you can add it more
7:41 into your days and you can use it to
7:43 drive reflection is more about a long
7:46 haul hard moment. So I guess the
7:47 probably obvious ones are like
7:48 restructures or like I had a long haul
7:51 hard moment with a manager.
7:52 >> I was going to say or a manager you
7:53 can't get rid of. You feel a bit stuck
7:56 in this situation. And I think that's
7:57 the thing like you feel stuck and you
7:59 don't look for the learning. But one of
8:00 the ways that you can is by using what
8:02 worked well even better if to reflect on
8:04 people and progress. So your what worked
8:07 well if I take the manager example what
8:09 worked well might be well I have got
8:10 some other colleagues that I've got a
8:12 lot of connection with or I've got some
8:14 communities out of work that I feel
8:15 really supported by and my even better
8:17 if might be but I've not got a mentor in
8:20 this company. I'm very dependent on that
8:22 manager for that kind of input and so
8:24 that might help me think about someone
8:26 else and that's again back to that's in
8:27 my control. And then the what worked
8:29 well even better if on the progress if I
8:31 take my situation what worked well I
8:34 definitely got more resilient I I kind
8:36 of I developed the stronger shell
8:37 definitely at that moment so I would
8:39 acknowledge that but my even better if
8:41 might be I should have made my work a
8:44 bit more visible so it did more of the
8:45 talking for me I was having to do a lot
8:47 of the talking for myself but maybe my
8:48 work could have been more visible to
8:49 other people and I think what this tool
8:52 helps you to do is it really drives a
8:55 kind of continual improvement mindset
8:58 but in in a way where it doesn't feel
9:00 unhelpfully relentless cuz I'm like
9:01 you're already in a hard moment. So this
9:04 shouldn't feel like oh I'm just adding
9:06 loads more expectation on myself. It
9:09 should feel I think helpful you know to
9:10 give you momentum so you don't feel
9:12 stuck. It should help you to move
9:14 forward. I think that's how you know
9:15 it's it's like working for you.
9:17 >> And the other thing that I think this
9:19 does for you is it gives you
9:20 perspective. So often when things are
9:22 hard you're so in it. You've maybe
9:25 emotional hard to see the wood from the
9:27 trees. all feels really messy. I think
9:28 as soon as you do what worked well, even
9:30 better if it just creates a clarity and
9:32 a calmness and puts you back in control.
9:35 >> So, we're going to end day three of the
9:36 sprint just like we have on our other
9:38 days. We've got a bit of inspiring
9:39 advice to help you keep growing. And
9:41 we've got a 24-hour action to help you
9:44 keep going with your learning. So, the
9:46 learning advice that we've picked out
9:47 from the book for today is from Claudia
9:49 Harris, who is a CEO at a company called
9:51 Makers, and she says, "Seek out the
9:54 hard. Try hard things and take them on.
9:57 Learning is a muscle. It takes
9:59 commitment, willingness to be
10:01 uncomfortable, and willingness to fail.
10:04 Hard but true. Yeah. But true. And our
10:06 24-hour action, which you can do on your
10:08 own, you can do as a team if you've got
10:10 a sprint team. We want you to use the
10:12 5:1 formula. And we've created a
10:14 template to make this really easy for
10:15 you. So that's in your daily email. So
10:17 make sure you check out that today. But
10:19 we want you to think about a recent hard
10:21 moment that you have been in. reflect on
10:23 five things that you did well, five
10:25 things that went well for you and just
10:27 pick out the one even better. If if you
10:29 want to share that with us, we'd love to
10:31 see it. You can do it on LinkedIn, you
10:32 can email it, but most important is that
10:34 you capture the learning from that
10:35 moment. So, that's the end of day three
10:38 of our sprint. And the good news is
10:39 we've done our two days of learning in
10:41 hard moments. So, tomorrow, day four, we
10:44 are moving on to leading your own
10:45 learning. Um, and we're going to get
10:47 very fun and playful over the next two
10:48 days.